Clueless

What's up with me recently?
Simply clueless...
Was it the pms thingy that affected me? (must have been...having a great appetite lately...zzz...gonna gain weight soon...sigh)

been bloody emotional these days...
it's like almost anything could lift me up...
and after that almost anything can let me down...
and very sudden too...
what is wrong???

I'm so clueless until I dunno how to describe this...
but I could have found out why...
there's been a lot of stuff that make me worried are kept within me...
I never disclose to other ppl, not even to my dearest and closest ppl...
probably it's been a year I've been like this??
yea.. something happened a year ago that changed a little bit of my attitude towards life...

I don't disclose things because I do not like ppl beside me seeing me feeling unhappy...
or rather, my things could have caused them feeling unhappy or worried...
rather I'm the listener... to listen to their troubles and problems...
that's why i've always put up a cheerful smile...
to cheer ppl up...

everytime I see them, I feel happy...
It seems like all my trouble has gone when I'm with them...
at that moment in time...
I felt comfortable with them...
I felt happy with them...
I yearn to be with them all the time...
But then, life's not that simple...
I have to come back to reality soon...

Counting down the days that I'm gonna be with them and also the days that I'm back to reality...
Sigh~~~